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Bar's Emails About Forrest

The following text and e-mails represent an on-line journal that I started when my son, Forrest, was first diagnosed with cancer in 2000. I wrote these e-mails at that time to keep friends and family informed, but also to give myself an opportunity to vent the many thoughts that were coming up for me through that time. My e-mails are now very sporadic, but often include thoughts on living, Forrest, being a mom, and living without Forrest. There's a lot here, so take your time. And thank you. It means a lot to me and to my husband, Peter, to know that people have met Forrest at least in this way. — Bar
At the time Forrest was diagnosed, Bar already had an an email mailing list that had been established for announcing her music-related performances and news. It then became an invaluable means for diseminating news about Forrest. As Forrest's journey progressed, Bar regularly used this email list to share not only the specifics of Forrest's health, but also to communicate her experiences and emotions. Her introspective, heartfelt, and honest letters have proven to be very meaningful to many people. And so, we started documenting them as both a historical record for those who missed them and also because we received many responses from people on her list asking that they be posted.

Following is a table of contents of these posts.

   Posts are grouped by month. In the Table of Contents, click on this symbol to go to the page for that month's posts. Once on a page, there are links to the "next month" and "previous month" so that you can read them in sequence without return to the Table of Contents. To get
on Bar's
email list

  click here  

 
   To go directly to a post, click on this symbol.

 

 


Table of Contents  
 
To go to the bottom to view the
oldest posts first, click here

 

    August 2009
     08/23    Sun    by Bar    11!
 

    June 2009
     06/26    Sun    by Bar    I'm Done
 

    March 2009- May 2009
         No emails during this period
 

    February 2009
     02/02    Mon    by Bar    Everything Purple Day
 

    October 2008- January 2009
         No emails during this period
 

    September 2008
     09/03    Wed    by Bar    Steinway Hall
 

    July 2008- August 2008
         No emails during this period
 

    June 2008
     06/10    Tue    by Bar    A bike ride
 

    May 2008
     05/12    Mon    by Bar    Monday morning
 

    April 2008
     04/06    Sun    by Bar    Hello again...it's been a while
 

    March 2008
         No emails during this month
 

    February 2008
     02/04    Mon    by Bar    Happy Everything Purple Day
 

    January 2008
     01/16    Wed    by Bar    Writing
 

    December 2007
     12/03    Mon    by Bar    A Funny Story
 

    November 2007
     11/28    Wed    by Bar    Home Again
     11/14    Wed    by Bar    Sanderlings and other things
     11/10    Sat    by Bar    Jeremy and John at the beach
     11/07    Wed    by Bar    writing
     11/05    Mon    by Bar    Sanderlings
     11/02    Fri    by Bar    The Beach November 2nd
     11/01    Thu    by Bar    Finally taking the time
 

    October 2007
         No emails this month
 

    September 2007
     09/14    Fri    by Bar    Gardening and Forrest
     09/11    Tue    by Bar    Thoughts
 

    March 2007- August 2007
         No emails during this period
 

    February 2007
     02/23    Fri    by Bar    Blues Clues
     02/09    Fri    by Bar    checking in again
 

    January 2007
     01/25    Thu    by Bar    thoughts and anniversaries
 

    March 2005- December 2007
         No emails during this period
 

    February 2005
     02/09    Mon    by Bar    3
 

    September 2004- January 2005
         No emails during this period
 

    August 2004
     08/23    Mon    by Bar    Six
 

    February-July 2004
         No emails during this period
 

    January 2004
     01/18    Sun    by Bar    Happy New Year
 

    December 2003
         No emails this month
 

    November 2003
     11/11    Tue    by Bar    hello again
 

    October 2003
     10/15    Wed    by Bar    on a personal note
 

    September 2003
         No emails this month
 

    August 2003
     08/22    Fri    by Bar    Birthday Eve
 

    July 2003
         No emails this month
 

    June 2003
     06/21    Sat    by Bar    soggy, soggy night
     06/01    Sun    by Bar    June 1st
 

    May 2003
     05/20    Tue    by Bar    further reflection
     05/20    Tue    by Bar    Life is short
 

    April 2003
     04/23    Wed    by Bar    Slow Down
     04/16    Wed    by Bar    On a more personal note
     04/06    Sun    by Bar    Purpose
 

    March 2003
     03/13    Thu    by Bar    More Snow and Videos
 

    February 2003
     02/19    Wed    by Bar    My Funny Valentine
     02/06    Thu    by Bar    Sunday
     02/02    Sun    by Bar    Ice Crystals and Cherries
 

    January 2003
     01/05    Sun    by Bar    Simple Algebra
     01/03    Fri    by Bar    Welcome 2003!
 

    December 2002
     12/17    Tue    by Bar    More and more and more thoughts....
 

    November 2002
       There were no posts in November
 

    October 2002
     10/30    Wed    by Bar    Stones in the Water
     10/16    Wed    by Bar    So much for my journal...
 

    September 2002
     09/04    Wed    by Bar    Good-bye
 

    August 2002
     08/26    Mon    by Bar    Lilly
     08/13    Tue    by Bar    more light reading....
     08/01    Thu    by Bar    Rain. Thank you!
 

    July 2002
     07/23    Tue    by Bar    Alive and Well
     07/13    Sat    by Bar    Second Thoughts
     07/13    Sat    by Bar    Blue Skies
     07/06    Sat    by Bar    Yellow Skies
 

    June 2002
     06/25    Tue    by Bar    Tuesday
     06/13    Thu    by Bar    Thoughts
 

    May 2002
     05/28    Tue    by Bar    So much for fearlessness
     05/08    Wed    by Bar    Take a Trip Tomorrow
 

    April 2002
     04/30    Tue    by Bar    news from here
     04/18    Thu    by Bar    so much for spring
     04/12    Fri    by Bar    Friday
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Part 5
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Part 4
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Part 3
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Part 2
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Part 1
     04/05    Fri    by Bar    Heads Up
     04/03    Wed    by Bar    A New Kind Of Wednesday
 

    March 2002
     03/23    Sat    by Bar    good morning
     03/17    Sun    by Bar    Another Saturday Night....
     03/13    Wed    by Bar    March 12, 2002
     03/10    Sun    by Bar    Sunday Afternoon
     03/08    Fri    by Bar    Acceptance
     03/03    Sun    by Bar    more and more and more stuff
     03/01    Fri    by Bar    thoughts on a variety of things.
 

    February 2002
     02/24    Sun    by Bar    A Quiet Sunday
     02/19    Tue    by Bar    Things I'm thinking about....
     02/14    Thu    by Bar    Love
     02/10    Sun    by Bar    Ceremonies
     02/09    Sat    by Bar    Forrest
     02/05    Tue    by Bar    Another Week
 

    January 2001
     01/29    Tue    by Bar    one more thing....
     01/27    Sun    by Bar    Happy No-Catheter Day
     01/24    Thu    by Bar    exciting news
     01/22    Tue    by Bar    Good morning
     01/16    Wed    by Bar    'ello again....about my show
     01/16    Thu    by Bar    hello again
     01/02    Wed    by Bar    Woodstock
 

    December 2001
     12/24    Mon    by Bar    Merry Christmas
     12/18    Tue    by Bar    I'm in Philadelphia. Where are you?
     12/07    Fri    by Bar    Hello From Sunny Woodstock
 

    November 2001
     11/30    Fri    by Bar    news
     11/28    Wed    by Bar    No news is the news
     11/17    Sat    by Bar    Saturday the 17th
     11/09    Fri    by Bar    Friday
     11/01    Thu    by Bar    Thursday
 

    October 2001
     10/24    Wed    by Bar    Steve, Blue and New York City
     10/16    Tue    by Bar    Hi
     10/10    Wed    by Bar    Hello from Woodstock
     10/03    Wed    by Bar    A Little Thunder Goes a Long Way
 

    September 2001
     09/27    Thu    by Bar    Wednesday
     09/24    Mon    by Bar    Out of the Blue
     09/21    Fri    by Bar    More News
     09/14    Fri    by Bar    Too Much to Say
     09/06    Thu    by Bar    Thoughts
 

    August 2001
     08/31    Fri    by Bar    All is Well
     08/27    Mon    by Bar    Birthday News
     08/23    Thu    by Bar    PS
     08/23    Thu    by Bar    3
     08/17    Fri    by Bar    short and sweet
     08/16    Thu    by Bar    hi
     08/13    Mon    by Bar    Third Try
     08/08    Wed    by Bar    Wednesday
     08/03    Fri    by Bar    Quick Hello
     08/01    Wed    by Bar    AFP
 

    July 2001
     07/27    Fri    by Bar    Hi
     07/22    Sun    by Bar    Feet and Other Mysteries
     07/18    Wed    by Bar    Calling All Cheerleaders Again
     07/15    Sun    by Bar    All is well
     07/11    Wed    by Bar    News
     07/06    Fri    by Bar    Independence Day
 

    June 2001
     06/29    Fri    by Bar    Update
     06/23    Sat    by Bar    Some Thoughts on a Rainy Saturday....
     06/20    Wed    by Bar    We're Still Here
     06/12    Tue    by Bar    Chemo is Done!!!!!!!
     06/05    Tue    by Bar    Last Chemo Coming Up!
 

    May 2001
     05/30    Wed    by Bar    Less is More, More or Less
     05/28    Mon    by Bar    Not Much To Tell
     05/23    Wed    by Bar    53!
     05/20    Sun    by Bar    Another Week Goes By
     05/16    Wed    by Bar    Another Day
     05/13    Sun    by Bar    Happy Mother's Day
     05/09    Wed    by Bar    Hi
     05/07    Mon    by Bar    Calling All Cheerleaders!
     05/04    Fri    by Bar    Home
     05/02    Wed    by Bar    Sleepless in New York City
     05/01    Tue    by Bar    bumped
 

    April 2001
     04/30    Mon    by Bar    Butter
     04/29    Sun    by Bar    Saturday in the Park
     04/26    Thu    by Bar    All's Well
     04/25    Wed    by Bar    OUCH!
     04/23    Mon    by Bar    Tomorrow's Surgery
     04/18    Wed    by Bar    Tuesday
     04/15    Sun    by Bar    Easter
     04/09    Mon    by Bar    Spring At Last
     04/01    Sun    by Bar    After the Doctors
 

    March 2001
     03/28    Wed    by Bar    Chemicals
     03/26    Mon    by Bar    Albany
     03/24    Sat    by Bar    Good Morning
     03/21    Wed    by Bar    Home
     03/16    Fri    by Bar    Friday Night
     03/15    Thu    by Bar    update on Forrest
     03/11    Sun    by Bar    Forrest
     03/06    Tue    by Bar    Tuesday
     03/05    Mon    by Bar    hello hello hello
     03/02    Fri    by Bar    step one is complete
 

    February 2001
     02/25    Sun    by Bar    New York Address
     02/21    Wed    by Bar    New News
     02/17    Sat    by Bar    Light Thinking
     02/07    Wed    by Bar    Back from rainy Florida
 

    January 2001
     01/23    Tue    by Bar    January 23, 2001
     01/16    Wed    by Bar    Owls and Other Thoughts
     01/12    Fri    by Bar    hi
     01/05    Fri    by Bar    The news
     01/01    Tue    by Bar    Happy New Year!!
 

    December 2000
     12/27    Wed    by Bar    Christmas Wishes
     12/21    Thu    by Bar    Things Change
     12/18    Mon    by Bar    Topotecan: Week Two
     12/14    Thu    by Bar    Peach fuzz
     12/11    Mon    by Bar    Topotecan Has Begun
     12/07    Thu    by Bar    Christmas Trees and the number 1500!
     12/05    Tue    by Bar    What a World!
     12/03    Sun    by Bar    Hello
 

    November 2000
     11/27    Mon    by Bar    Belated Thanks Giving Greetings
     11/18    Sat    by Bar    Alive and Very Well
     11/13    Mon    by Bar    irritation
     11/09    Thu    by Bar    Maybe More Than You Wanted To Know
     11/05    Sun    by Bar    More Good Stuff
     11/02    Thu    by Bar    After the Parade
 

    October 2000
     10/28    Tue    by Bar    Happy Halloween!
     10/28    Sat    by Bar    another beautiful day!
     10/26    Thu    by Bar    42 and 3418
     10/24    Tue    by Bar    the news
     10/18    Wed    by Bar    Realizations and a chemo vacation
     10/13    Fri    by Bar    Forrest's cat scan and other news
     10/10    Tue    by Bar    Tuesday morning
     10/07    Sat    by Bar    Wabbly legs and all
     10/04    Wed    by Bar    Lost for Words
     10/01    Sun    by Bar    Four little angels all dressed in red
 

    September 2000
     09/28    Thu    by Bar    sleep is a beautiful thing
     09/26    Tue    by Bar    Off to Albany Again
     09/22    Fri    by Bar    That would be 'Seize the day'!
     09/22    Fri    by Bar    Angels, Abdomens and Shokan Electric
     09/20    Wed    by Bar    Wednesday the 20th of September
     09/18    Mon    by Bar    What a weekend!
     09/13    Wed    by Bar    new news
     09/12    Tue    by Steve    Beneficial news...
     09/11    Mon    by Bar    Money
     09/08    Fri    by Bar    What is a miracle, anyway?
     09/07    Thu    by Bar    round 3 is done
     09/06    Wed    by Steve    Benefit for Forrest, Bar, and Peter this Friday
     09/05    Tue    by Bar    Chemo Round #3
     09/01    Fri    by Bar    Friday the first day of September already.....
 

    August 2000
     08/29    Tue    by Bar    more news
     08/24    Thu    by Bar    August 24,2000
     08/22    Tue    by Bar    Somedays are better than others....
     08/20    Sun    by Steve    From Steve: Forrest's Birthday, upcoming fund-raisers, ...
     08/19    Sat    by Bar    home again 2
     08/13    Sun    by Bar    Sunday
     08/10    Thu    by Bar    hello again
     08/08    Tue    by Bar    Dorothy was right!
     08/03    Thu    by Bar    hallelujah!!
     08/01    Tue    by Bar    good morning, from Bar
 

    July 2000
     07/29    Sat    by Bar    hello from Bar
     07/29    Sat    by Buck    Bar and Forrest
     07/28    Fri    by Steve    Update on Forrest from Bar
     07/26    Wed    by Buck    Bar deals with her son's illness
      07/21    Fri    by Steve    Sad news regarding Bar's son.
 

 


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